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Finding a suitable spouse

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dannyboy_84 View Drop Down
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Joined: 10 February 2011
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  Quote dannyboy_84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Finding a suitable spouse
    Posted: 10 February 2011 at 12:28am

Hi, I have couple of questions which I wanted to ask regarding finding a suitable spouse. I know the the most important requirement is that they should be a born again and baptized believer. But some additional questions came  in my regarding how the character of the spouse should be. I'm asking these questions from a male's perspective.

(1)  Some women like being independent (especially those who have worked hard to obtain professional degrees). They all of a sudden feel uncomfortable seeing the husband as the head of the family and being submissive and obedient to them. I know that the Bible clearly  states that in Ephesians 5:22-33  and also Genesis 3:16 regarding how wives must be submissive and obedient to their husbands. From Genesis 3:16, I gathered that it's in the nature of women to try and control their husbands. Just wanted to make sure if all of this means that as husbands, we have the final say on all matters (after of course consulting with the wife)? If the potential spouse I ask about this has a hard time accepting this, is it better to move on and not look at them as a candidate?

(2). Just to ask add another question related to the question above, I think some women may be afraid that the husband would abuse his role of being the head of the family (Whatever I say goes type of attitude). As husbands, is there a line we need to be aware of which we shouldn't cross so that we don't abuse this role?

(3) Suppose both the partners are professional degree holders and initially both are working, but after having kids, the husband realizes that there is a need and priority for the wife to stay home and take care of the kids, does the husband have the right to ask his wife to quit her job and fulfull her role as a mother? I ask this because the wife may not like this idea of her having to give up her career to do this.  In today's world, family values are what is being attacked by Satan to cause spiritual decay within a family. As the husband, I know that it is my duty to be the bread earner of the family (perfect example of this seen in Genesis 3:16-19 where God punishes both Adam and Eve. We see God giving Eve the role of child bearing and Adam the role of toiling to earn bread for himself and of course his family). Can I safely conclude that the wife must give her priorities to being a mother more than being a career woman?

(4) Some girls will have both male and female friends in their lives. I know and I have seen many of them hugging each other in public places (like conferences, youth retreats, even at church). Personally, I wouldn't like my wife to hug any of her friends of the opposite sex. However, she may argue that it's a silly restriction on her. What does the Bible teach us about regarding this matter of how to conduct ourselves after we're married?

Dan Mathai
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